Wednesday, August 21, 2013

This Beauty Blogger Blogs Bananas

Just track with me. You will have the desire to downplay what you're about to read. Fight it.

So, we (husband and I) throw away a lot of produce. A lot. I might as well withdraw money from the drive-through bank ATM (since I never have cash) and drop it in the trash can. Or shred it. Or flush it. Or ask my dogs to eat it. I'm running out of scenarios here. But I know you're catching what I'm tossing. Moral: it's a serious fiscal problem in this family. 

Recently I decided to eat cleaner and be nicer to my body. When your brother is getting married in 93 days, you start to freak out about what you would currently look like in a Matron (could there be a more terrible title? (Think a la Chandler)) of Honor dress. You track your food intake and take your dogs for more walks than they've had in years. Trust me, skinny ones, it's a thing of desperation.

Anyways, we recently had three bananas that were turning black back in that corner in your kitchen bananas go to die and potatoes go to grow strange tumors. That gross, mushy black color that makes me slightly gag if I try to eat it. (Kind of like Ron Swanson on Parks & Rec when he tries to eat a fresh one).You know, it's like slimy yet gritty? Yeah - that texture. Blegh. I'm dry heaving just typing about it. Typically, my non-clean eating self would just happily toss those suckers without a second thought. But not now - not this new and improved me. I had a moment of brilliance (well, I saw it on Pinterest; busted) and froze them. Now, you may be thinking: "And...?" Come on! Just remember I'm a beauty blogger, not a lifestyle/food blogger. An appropriate dinner when my husband is mercilessly spending time with friends is a Lunchable sometimes accompanied with beer. 

What I'm trying to say is I've never frozen ANYTHING that wasn't already in a freezer at the grocery store. Ever. (Minus water for ice). All those women who freeze whole meals? They're my heros. Besides frozen berries and venison, our freezer gets little attention. Last time I opened it before this evening was to get an ice pack for my achilles muscle on my left leg. This was due to my recent increase in pre-wedding-clothes activity. Newsflash about working out: that shiz hurts. 

Wait, though. It gets better. Tonight I put one frozen banana in our one million dollar Vitamix I've never used. (The hubs acts like it's the greatest invention since... well, I can't think of anything mind blowing-ly great right now; but I know you're smart, and you're picking up what I'm throwing down). And to my shock and extreme excitement I discovered that I (yes, me... domestically challenged moi) just made friggin ICE CREAM! Yep, you read that right - ice cream. It was so effing good - with no sugar, no dairy, no preservatives, no nothing. Just a banana. It just literally made me giddy. I wanted to do it all over again, until I realized I originally did it to be healthy, not to eat hundreds of banana calories. But I will now NEVER, ever, ever throw a banana away again.

I still feel like you are downplaying this, Reader. It's a big deal. Just trust me.

Since I want to look like I know what I'm doing, blogging about things in a kitchen (and not my makeup bag):

Banana Ice Cream Recipe

1 Banana

Peel banana
Freeze banana
Blend banana

Impressed? Yep, me, too.

And because I try to be a good #greenbblogger, here's an article on using those left over banana peels on your face. Who knew they could be used on acne, wrinkles, warts, poison ivy, etc!? I'll have to try that next time tomorrow!